My son recently went on a four-day, high school band trip. He had a great time and came back filled with stories. What was most striking, however, was the reception between my children when he got home. My daughter clung to my son. She hugged him, grabbed his arm and wouldn’t let go. She couldn’t seem to get enough of him and that was in the school parking lot. And, he let her. He hugged her back, bent down for her to jump up on his back to carry her piggyback style and held her close. When my daughter exclaimed, “I missed you!” He responded, “I missed you, too.” It was only four days and he was in front of his friends.
You read that children of divorce are very close and I’ve seen it with my two eyes. Yes, they have the typical squabbles and annoy each other from time to time, but there is this unbelievable love between them. They stick up for each other, help each other and genuinely like each other. They play together and have each other’s back, often advocating for the other with no advantage for themselves. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.
They are both at a time in their lives when image matters, when they are acutely aware of the perspectives of their peers. And that’s why this interaction was so sweet and surprising. While there are very few positive things that come out of divorce, I am constantly in awe of the close relationship between them, in part, because of the divorce. They travel in a pack, the two of them, back and forth between homes. They share experiences. They have shared challenges and have to walk that tightrope of divorce, pleasing one parent, while worrying about hurting the other. It’s not an easy road and I am so glad they have each other to lean on.
I also can’t help but wonder just how hard it’s going to be on my daughter and me when we drop off that sweet boy at college in three years. Our home will feel so empty and my girl and I will be at a loss, a hole the size of a crater gaping in our hearts. I know she will have her own life in high school at that point, but I also know that we will miss the trudging footfalls of him running up the steps. I will miss seeing him bend down as she jumps on his back anywhere, anytime. We will miss waiting in the car for him to get his distracted self out there, something that drives us nuts now. More than anything, I will miss sweet moments like that one, where their love is so obvious and pure.
It is this constant reminder of pure love and respect that brings me to my knees. I am so very blessed by these children and constantly thank God for them and their love. I’m grateful beyond measure.